WE LIKED THIS

To Opening Page

WE LIKED THIS - occasional articles that we find on our Jewish travels.

A poem from one of our 'mature' members:

Oh girls - how true some of them are - have a good day.

A Woman's Random Thoughts...(from America, need we add!)

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to start with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you have set it free.......You either married it or gave birth to it.

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "listen witch... do it and die."

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him..

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?

Send this to five bright women you know and make their day!!!

Thought you might enjoy these>

>Subject: some things old, some things new
> >
> >The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish

women like
Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to
the fact that WonTon spelled backwards is Not Now.
> >*********************************
> >Q: Hear about the enterprising rabbi that's offering
circumcision via the Internet?
> >A: The service is called E-MOIL.
> >*********************************
> >There's a big controversy on the Jewish view of when
> >life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered
> >viable until after it graduates from medical school.
> >*********************************
> > >Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
> > >A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
> >*********************************
> >Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American Princess
> >horror movie?
> >A: It's called "Debbie Does Dishes".
> >*********************************
> > >Q: Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers?
> > >A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.
> >*********************************
> > >Q: What's a Jewish Amer. Princess' favorite position?
> > >A: Facing Bloomingdale's
> >********************************
> > >When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her
> >that her check came back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."
> >********************************
> > >A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you"?
> > >"Not too good,"says the mother. "I've been very weak."
> > >The son says, "Why are you so weak?"
> > >She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
> > >The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days"?
> > >The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with
> >food if you should call."
> >**********************************
> > >A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his
> >mother he's been given a part in the school play.
> >"Wonderful. What part is it?"
> > >The boy says,"I play the part of the Jewish husband."
> > >The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the
> >teacher you want a speaking part."
> >***********************************
> > >Q - Where does a Jewish husband hide money from
> >his wife?
> > >A - Under the vacuum cleaner.
> >***********************************
> > >Q - How many Jewish mothers does it take to change
> >a light bulb?
> > >A - (Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark, I don't want
> >to be a nuisance to anybody.
> >***********************************
> > >Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the
> >Jewish mother on the street and said, 'Lady, I haven't
> >eaten in three days.' "Force yourself," she replied.
> >***********************************
> > >A young Jewish man calls his mother and says,
> >"Mom, I'm bringing home a wonderful woman I want
> >to marry. She's a Native American and her name is
> > >Shooting Star."
> > >"How nice," says his mother.
> > >"I have an Indian name too," he says. "It's Running Deer"
> >and I want you to call me that from now on."
> > >"How nice," says his mother.
> > >"You should have an Indian name too, Mom," he says.
> > >"I already do," says the mother. "You can call me Sitting Shiva."
> >************************************
> > >Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow."

From the Jewish Dating Company:
HOW TO AVOID THE FOLLOWING DATING PROBLEMS

The guy says he's 40 but when you meet him he's 62.

The woman says she's a design consultant but after months of internet chat
you find out the only designs she has are on your wallet.

He may say his goal is marriage and you are impressed by his values. Then,
after a few dates in the real world, you realize he's there for a
good time, not a long time.

Internet dating can lead to a good relationship, a lot of frustration or
even a horror story, says Det. Bruce Headridge, internet investigator for
an Organized Crime Agency.

He says people are often misled because when they meet on the internet
they have no way to verify the information they're getting is correct.

"Someone can be anyone they want to be," says Headridge. He says they may
seem romantic, open, and extroverted, but in fact be woefully introverted
and closed in real life. "All it is typing."

A study by Microsoft found misrepresentation the biggest problem of
internet dating.

Headridge said daters may send photos "of good looking guys and say
they're 30, when really they're 50."

"And how do you know that guy who seems charming isn't actually more
interested in your children?"

Headridge warns people not to give out their last name, address, phone
number, kids' ages or details such as the fact that you own your own
house.

You and your family don't want to end up as victims of stalking, criminal
harassment, threatening, child molestation, or a charming con man or woman
who disappears once your money's gone.

Your first face-to-face meetings should always be in public places and
always with friends present, says Headridge.

Body Language: (thanks to JDate)
Singles Are Talking About: How to Read Body Language

Ever have trouble trying to decipher what your date is really thinking?

IMAGINE: You’re on your first date with a true hottie, and you’re telling a funny story. The hottie is nodding, mmmhhmm-ing and laughing in all the appropriate places, but her eyes are darting around the room, she can’t sit still, and her laughter is strangely monotone. Does she like you? The answer is a big fat NO. Sorry dude.
NOW IMAGINE: You’re dropping off a date after dinner, you’ve had a great time, and you ask her if she’d like to see a movie next week. She says, “I don’t know.” But, her head is tilted coyly to the side, she’s smiling flirtatiously, and her eyes are staring straight into yours with a blinding sparkle. Does she want to go? You bet she does pal!

So, how do you figure out what’s really going on? The secret is to stop listening to what’s coming out of your date’s mouth and start paying attention to body language. If you listen to words, you may get stuck with a pack of lies, but body language unconsciously reveals true emotions – it’s the lie detector of the dating world.

Don't take offence, men - it's a JOKE!